gini2. i think i have to write my feelings about my latest sweetheart. let us call him...... Mr. White? no, no, no.
argh...... i'd better found it later. hahahahhaha....
yap, this guy. i've wrote about him earlier, haven't i?
hari ini gua menemukan sisi lain dari pria ini. :) i saw him bouncing happily this evening. because he had finally talked a bit longer to his sweetheart. I found he's cute with his own way... he can't even hold his expression and smile. i never see him brighter. you know, his eyes is REALLY twinkling~! hahahahha.
unfortunately, it's not because of me.
gua selalu seneng membuat orang lain tertawa. Membuat orang lain nyaman bersama gua. But i don't think this guy will feel that way towards me. Right now it's not me he needs. i'm not the one who can twink his eyes or draw a smile on his face. or make him bounce like a happy tween.
but i'm unbelievably sincere. i think i've been letting to much things go nowadays. am i matured? conditions made me be?
apapun itu, que sera sera. life talks about process. Mega selalu bilang, "That's part of your life. You Don't need to regret anything. Enjoy it!"
and i'm enjoying it. Gua tau hal ini engga keliatan besar. numerous people suffer much more pain than me, so i'll be just alright and i'll do whatever i can do.
rasa2nya gua tau kenapa gua bisa begini kuat. Apen juga bilang begitu sebelumnya. gua sangat bersyukur gua punya banyak orang2 luar biasa disekitar gua. gua banyak belajar being considerate dari macem2 orang. my family -dad, mom, Aris, Mega- especially. gua bisa jadi kuat karena TUHAN menempatkan orang2 disekitar gua untuk belajar dan bersandar.
when i lean on God's power, i could endure anything.
kemaren malem waktu doa, gua bilang sama Tuhan... mungkin gua bukanlah orang yang radikal. I'm not strong or ambitious. I had my own way of learning and thinking, i'm not positive and imperfect. i might not useful for HIM, but i promised i won't go anywhere far from him. dan gua juga berjanji bila ini terus gua jalankan -mengandalkan Tuhan, bersyukur atas hidup gua, banyak berbagi dengan orang, berusaha untuk jadi contoh dan jadi diri sendiri- pada akhirnya saat gua dewasa nanti gua gak akan menyesali masa muda gua. Gua yakin Tuhan akan membuat hidup gua berarti. mungkin bukan sekarang, tapi nanti pasti.
mega bilang berkali-kali, dan gua juga selalu mengingatkan diri gua sendiri, bahwa hidup bukan untuk disesali. WE sering membuat gua inget, hal pertama yang harus gua lakukan adalah bersyukur. no matter what, i'm lucky to have myself. bila berpikir kaya gitu, rasanya engga ada hal yang engga bisa kita selesaiin, kan? karena kuasa yang menaungi kita bukan seperti kita yang lemah.
He Is GOD. gitu aja udah bikin tenang banget.
yang sekarang gua lakukan? i'm being positive as well as i could. saat gua jatuh, gua inget ada Tuhan yang selalu membantu gua. He's Real. I mean It.
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