Copy Cat

meskipun jadi copy cat, aku tak masalah karena posting ini bagus. Expresses Well :(

berapa hari ini ada celung di hati gw. semua yang gua lakukan didepan dia, sebaik apapun gua berusaha akhirnya malah gagal dan ujung-ujungnya sisi lemah gua terus2 terpampang.

hari ini, sama seperti hari2 sebelumnya. rasanya aneh karena dia bisa bersikap dan tersenyum begitu manis, tapi hati gua sakit setengah mati. then i see this post. I've extend the post. you know? strangely i feel grateful. thanks.

Dear someone I hate most in life,
I hate the way everything you said affect me so damn much
I hate how everything you do looks so wrong for me
I hate the way how easily you play with my mood
I hate how irritating you are towards me
I hate how you generously treating others well and special, but rarely done it to me
I hate you for treating me so sweetly for once in a while, and then acting like nothing’s happened on the other day
I hate the nights I wondered if I actually mean something to you
I hate the way you laugh, the way you cheer, the way you charmingly talk
I hate that you know everything you’re not supposed to know - I hate that I think I know you well.
I hate waiting for your text, and after you texted me, I hate the way our conversation goes- I hate how your messages affect me deeply.
I hate how I always seem to be the second priorities
I hate realizing that you only look for me whenever you needed me
I hate admitting that you never actually care and pay attention- wholeheartedly
I hate how you knew everything and I felt like you’re playing with me
I hate how you never told me anything straight forwardly- coward and repentful
I hate the fact that there’s a slight chance that you think this is trivial, and make a joke out of it
I hate this ugly silly -big- monster of jealousy inside of me- eventhough I try to deny it.
I hate losing myself whenever I’m with you
I hate being so greedy and expecting too much
I hate you because somehow if it’s you, I’m willing to get hurt over and over again- for your happiness
I hate the fact that you terribly difficult to be forgotten and how hard it is to find your substitute
I hate the fact that your presence is so precious, but you easily disappear

I hate the way you praise me, encourage me once a while, the way my heart warmed because of it

I hate the way you control me

I hate the fact that everyone loves you, not only me

I hate being involved in this deeply

I hate how this condition drives my love flourish, but withered my strength and tenacity

I hate simply everything about you, and everything you made out of me
Mostly because I hate how you can make me hate and love the same person at the same exact time

Sincerely,
Your loyal hater whose heart is dying inside